Southern Methodist University Admission Sample Essay

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Southern Methodist University Application Sample Essay on Humor

Essay by Emily Perryman

It's odd how a random thought can pop into your head and completely change the way you view something. Well, I realized today that I do not want children. This revelation came to me while walking into the grocery store. An exasperated young mother was trying to comfort her child. The little girl was throwing the ultimate temper tantrum, one worthy of an Academy award. She was stubbornly sitting on the ground, flailing her arms, kicking her feet, and was screaming at such a high pitch that it made me cringe. As I passed this sight, the mother looked at me, gave me a faint smile, and muttered, "kids…." under her breath. She then proceeded to carry her child to the car, kicking and screaming the whole way. I laughed and didn't think about it for very long.

When I was leaving the store, I was half expecting to see the mother still trying to get her child situated in the car seat, but I was denied that privilege. Instead, my attention was focused on an adorable Labrador puppy that was entertaining its owner while his wife was inside. It was doing such a great job of entertaining his owner that several other shoppers had stopped to enjoy the show, too. Well, this puppy was the epitome of an unproportional animal. Its lanky legs and huge paws were no match for the puppy's "pleasantly plump" body. It kept tripping over its feet while trying to catch its tail, even though its tail was not much more than a stub. When it would fall down, its belly would cushion the fall, but if the dog tried to roll over, his stomach prevented him from rolling all the way over. The puppy's owner would then pick it up and the whole cycle would start again.

That's when it hit me. Why in the world would anyone want a screaming, fussy child that grows up to be a screaming, fussy teenager when you can have a cute, playful dog that grows up to be your cute, playful best friend? As I proceeded to think about this on my drive home, I mentally compared and contrasted the two. Dogs don't complain if they are taken somewhere they don't like. In fact, dogs feel more than honored to get in the car even if it's just to the store on the corner. Children complain if they don't want to go somewhere and if it conflicts with their favorite TV show. Dogs are more than happy to eat anything you cook even if it's just flat out bad. Children say that their food is too spicy, too hot, too cold, not sweet enough, not pizza, too healthy, and too boring since homemade meals don't normally come with a prize. Dogs think that you are perfect, no matter how many times you might accidentally leave them outside. Children think that parents are weird and are anything but cool or perfect. The final thing was the one that sold me: the fact that the cost to raise children is on the rise since the education, housing, and medical costs are becoming more expensive, whereas the cost to have a dog remains constant.

In the end, having a dog seems to be the better investment. They don't scream, kick, throw temper tantrums, and definitely don't complain about the cooking. Besides, when the dog turns eighteen, he's not calculating just how quickly he can get out of the house. He's just thinking about how much he wants to curl in bed with you to get his nightly belly rub.

Emily Perryman attends Southern Methodist University.

Essay Review

why dogs are better than children

Animals are a fertile subject for tongue-in-cheek essays, and author Emily Perryman gets on a roll talking about the difference between a screaming toddler and an adorable puppy. There is no over-arching theme or meaning in the essay, but the ability to show a wry sense of humor and a flair for writing is more than good enough. When you're an admissions officer gazing at applications piled up to your navel, a little comic relief is much appreciated.

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